Spider Baby or, the Maddest Story Ever Told (1967)

The Merrye children of Spider Baby or, the Maddest Story Ever Told don’t seem like they would have much to be merry about. The unfortunate brood suffers from a rare neurological disorder particular to their bloodline. As a voiceover narrator helpfully explain in the opening, at around the age of 10 or so, Merrye family members regress to a “pre-human condition of savagery and cannibalism.”

Incredible, but true.

OK, so it’s not really true. But try telling that to slobbery, tongue-wagging Ralph Merrye (the great Sid Haig) or his creepy sister Elizabeth (Beverly Washburn). And then there’s incorrigible Virginia (Jill Banner), who believes herself to be a spider, trapping her prey with a rope before “stinging” them with a flurry of butcher knives to the victim’s noggin.

The only thing standing between the murderous Merryes and civilization is the kindly figure of Lon Chaney Jr. as the family’s longtime chauffeur and now their caretaker. And when Lon Chaney Jr. is the closest you have to normal, well, you’ve got problems, friend.

Spider Baby was shot over 12 days in 1964, but its release was delayed for several years after the producers went bankrupt. The wait was worth it. From an irresistible opening theme song by Chaney Jr. to its could-this-be-the-end-? resolution, Spider Baby spins a web of B-movie gold. It was an auspicious debut for Jack Hill, the exploitation moviemaker who went on to make The Swinging Cheerleaders, Switchblade Sisters and help launch the career of Foxy Brown herself, Pam Grier.